Obscure, yet oddly fantastic: ‘Star Wars: The Musical’

After last week’s discussion about musicals, I set out to steer the conversation back on track with a post about the best sci-fi musicals. But I had to do a hard abort on that one when I ran across “Star Wars: The Musical.” This little number deserves a post all its own.

Excuse me?

“What?” you might ask. “They made a musical out of ‘Star Wars?’ Why haven’t I seen it?”

Obviously, doing a live performance of anything bearing Lucas’ name isn’t exactly as easy as bulls-eyeing womp rats — thousands of pounds of attorney must be retained to even mention the name “Star Wars” without being sued. In fact, I’m pretty sure the disturbance in the force that you’re feeling right now is Lucasarts’ legal arm sending me a hefty package of cease-and-desist.

Nonetheless, the musical was completed in 1999 by a group of composers, singers and fans. A full audio recording was done, but the musical has never been performed live. A short CGI film was made using one of the musical numbers from the first act, but everything else is purely audio.

So, how is it?

I haven’t listened to the whole thing yet, but if you expect my attention span to hold out long enough to listen to an entire album before passing judgement, then you obviously don’t know me too well.

From what I’ve heard, it’s actually quite good, as far as musical orchestration goes. The music interweaves with John Williams’ classic score, but the numbers are all original. Most of the tracks have that “scratch your musical itch” vibe, with soaring strings and more pizzicato than an Italian restaurant.

Nothing is too complicated, disharmonious or atonal, but that’s not really what musicals are about. A good musical number is like a great cheeseburger — you know what it’s going to taste like, but when it’s good, it’s a spiritual experience.

Some of the lyrics are a little forced, but they sound better when set to music. Outside of slash fanfic, this is the only place you’ll hear Lord Vader say, “They took my life when they took my plans — that pitiful little rebel band. / So, troops arise where you are and come with me on my Death Star.”

Give it a listen. The MP3s are right here. And here’s a link to the CGI short number. The animation isn’t awful, but you have to see past the slightly wooden character animation to hear the score. Actually, I take it back — the CGI does a remarkable job of characterizing young Hamill’s acting range.