My Friendly Local Game Shop, and why I feel out of place
Josh
Saturday
3:08 pm
Today was Free RPG Day, so I figured I’d take a rare trip down to my Friendly Local Game Shop. In my case, Hastur Games and Comics.
As far as geek establishments go, this place is top notch. They cater to every facet of the gaming geek crowd, from comic books to a great RPG selection to dedicated World of Warcraft machines, and even miniature trains and the always-safe family board games. I love their selection, and admire the crew that keep this excellent store so well-stocked and full of a loyal crowd.
But, for some reason, I’ve always felt uncomfortable going in there. I feel ignored at best, unwelcome at worst.
I long to fit in at this place, but every time I go in to purchase something, all I feel is isolation. Is it because I don’t have ironic slogans on my t-shirt? Is my beard too neatly trimmed? Do I look at things besides my feet, and smell more of deodorant than Old Spice? Is there some measure of geek cred in which I lack?
For whatever reason, I feel discriminated against in this sanctum sanctorum of nerdery. And it admittedly stings.
I browsed through the RPG section, leafing through the pages of Shadowrun add-ons and making sure the Serenity RPG supplements were visible to potential newcomers. I purchased a box of dice and a few markers for Monday’s game session. I looked at the miniatures and the action figures.
I also wandered the tables of gamers — there was a Dungeons and Dragons campaign in full swing, a couple tables of Magic: The Gathering players and an RPG I didn’t recognize.
“What are y’all playing?” I asked during a lull in their game. “Corporation,” one person mumbled, barely looking up.
Everywhere around me, there was a sense of camaraderie — people were hanging out, chatting, laughing, joking about all of the things I loved, but I felt like a simple visitor, like I was see as some guy who wandered in looking for Monopoly for his kid.
It’s funny the way it works — I spent my whole adolescence and young adulthood trying to prove to the world I wasn’t a nerd. I kept my closeted interests buried deep, and tried to fake an interest in the “normal” world at large. It’s only been in the past 5 years or so that I really openly declared it. My office at work breaks the mold by being decorated with Transformers and action figures, and not intelligent textbooks. As a full grown geek, I’ve swung the other way, and almost become too loud with it — I’ve got to make up for lost time, you know.
And now, for some reason, when I finally come out of the geek closet, as it were, I can’t get the locals at the “Friendly” Local Game Shop to look me in the eye or speak a word to me.
Maybe all of us are just introverts, and the same reason nobody would look me in the eye is the same reason that I didn’t try to strike up too many conversations. We’re all used to being mistreated out in the real world, and even in this hallowed ground, we’re gunshy about talking out our passions with strangers.
Or maybe I’m asking too much from the experience. Maybe to expect to walk in, and have everybody cheer on a newcomer geek to their club is unrealistic. Maybe, in the end, it’s just a store, and I shouldn’t expect more of it than I do my local grocer or mechanic.
In the end, I’m glad this place exists — for the regulars at Hastur Games and Comics, it’s an oasis in a desert of normalcy. I just wish I could get in on it.
Tell me, Geek6 readers — am I doing something wrong, or just paranoid? Validate my existence below!
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Amber
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Reader Comments
Perhaps it’s just your perception? I know I’d feel out of place there, but that’s because my geek tendencies lie in areas other than gaming.
Why is it I walk in the door, they all turn and yell “Hey you!” and then proceed to lift me upon their shoulders and carry me around? I just don’t get it.
You suck, Jason.
The game store’s employees ignored you? If so, then that’s just not a very friendly store.
If you’re referring to the other patrons…imagine your weekly game nights were held at the store instead of at someone’s house. Would you casually strike up conversations with people walking by?
If you really want to feel a sense of belonging with that local game store’s community, then participate in the events being held at that store. Run or play in games there. It’s hard to judge a community’s hospitality if all you’re doing is walking around the fringes and not actually entering it.
I know this was what happened to me with my local store. For years, I just went there to buy games. It wasn’t until I started playing in game nights or weekend events that I felt like I belonged to a community of gamers.
It might be largely in your head. (This is coming from someone who knows better than most what it is like to be the new kid standing in a sea of strangers in the cafeteria, looking for a place to set my tray and feel at home.)
It might also be the store. I am not a gamer and have only been in a store like that once to my recollection. It’s just so not me. And yet, while I was in there, I felt perfectly at home. I even talked to some people there and ended up running into someone I know that I hadn’t seen in years. And the staff was incredibly helpful and nice.
The poster above had some good advice. But if you don’t have the time to invest in getting involved in the gaming scene there, try another store and see how it makes you feel. (BTW, the place I visited was here in SLC.)
And as for the question about talking to random people who walk by while running or participating in a game, I would do it. I like when people approach me about something: it is much easier for me to meet people that way than it is for me to initiate a conversation (a legacy personality hiccup from moving so often as a kid). A lot of people would do it. So maybe you really should check out some other stores and see how people operate there. Personally, that is a culture with a lot of introverts and social misfits, but there are also a lot of people who are very welcoming and outgoing as well.
So, basically, what all of you are telling me is that I’m either too idealistic or paranoid?
That probably about sums it up. LOL!
I tend to lean too much the other way. I seem to live in my own little world a lot of the time and things like that go right over my head.
I still think it might be worthwhile to check out the vibe at other stores, see if you feel the same way in those.
Huh. I just caught the name of the place. That’s the same place that I went and I found the atmosphere appealing and open.
And the day I went in there, I was dressed in a way that screamed I didn’t fit in–I looked like I was going to the ballet, not Hastur Hobbies–but the people were still very friendly.
Admittedly, though, I haven’t been there since I bought dice to play with y’all. That was quite some time ago.
Amber — I should think the reason that people fell all over themselves to make you feel welcome in a nerd sanctuary is readily apparent.
Granted, there appears to be only one woman in the pics you took.
But in my experience, that doesn’t automatically mean that geeks who don’t know you will open up. Plus, a male friend of mine told me he struck up a conversation with a stranger there about airsoft one time. He agreed that there are definitely cliques, but that you can find people to talk with as well.
Maybe it’s the night, the person…. I don’t know. But I bet if you keep coming around and putting yourself out there, you’ll make some friends.
Ahh, I cannot wait for The Chronicles of Josh: Hasturs and the day to day experiences of Josh going there. It will be like our very own The Hills.
Geez, whatever happened to the days when gaming geeks were afraid of, confused by (as all men I suppose) any girl not named Lara Croft? Now geeks are friendly and welcoming to hot girls? Obama really DID bring change.
That’s what I like about the comic shop here. They have all the same thing as the one you described, minus the WoW computers, but everyone’s sociable. Usually people end up clustering around the counter, after finding their stuff, talking with each other and the owner, Daniel.
But then there’s the Great Escape. I also really like it (It’s where I got for old comics), but it’s dark, feels closed off, and no one really talks. It’s just not as enjoyable.