Seven Go-Bots that kick their Transformers counterparts’ asses
Josh
Friday
11:56 am
Any child of the 80s knows that there’s no way a Go-Bot could ever be cooler than a Transformer, right? I mean, the Go-Bots were the Roos to Transformers’ Nikes. They were like comparing Heathcliff to Garfield.
But I’ve been doing some research, and I think I’ve uncovered something big. It turns out that, once you separate the toy from the vast marketing blitz, cooler commercials, better names and far superior cartoon… a lot of our beloved childhood Transformers are actually pretty crappy.
Is it possible that our young and impressionable minds were warped by focus groups and greasy marketers in suits? We were made to be oblivious to better engineering and cooler toys? And we’ve never really seen through the fog, to this very day?
Well get ready, because I’m about to blow your minds.
(For those who need help, the Go-Bots are on the top, Transformers on the bottom of each comparison.)
Offroad vehicle: Smallfoot v. Brawn
Why we were fooled: In the cartoon, Brawn was a scrappy, loyal, take-no-prisoners-Ben-Grimm-Clobberin-Time brawler. And he had eyes, a face, and arms that weren’t little vestigal T-Rex appendages. Besides, in the Go-Bot cartoon, they turned the asexual Smallfoot into a chick, thus destroying her toy value.
Mini-truck: Road Ranger v. Huffer
Why we were fooled: Huffer had some personality in the cartoon. He was whiny, prone to breakdowns, and loveable in that neurotic, Ross-from-Friends sort of way. But, in real life, the poor guy has metal tubes for hands.
Muscle car: Major Mo v. Windcharger
Why we were fooled: That souped up Datsun-Corvette vehicle mode of Windcharger’s is pretty cool. And his detailed Tech Specs showed him being arrogant, and mentally zippy. And “Major Mo” has a cringeworthily bad name.
Jeep: Jeeper Creeper v. Swindle
Why we were fooled: Swindle formed one of the legs of Bruticus, making his pudgy little boxbot essential to any kiddie collector. And he was a wheeler and dealer in the cartoon — something of an arms merchant, which even to a child, is pretty badass. And “Jeeper Creeper?” What a horrible name.
Harrier Jet: Royal T v. Slingshot
Why we were fooled: Again a case of needing Slingshot to form a giant robot, we often overlooked his awful robot mode and “robot stuck to the bottom of a plane” vehicle mode. Look at the Go-Bot Harrier — sleek, mean and he makes giant wings on the back look good.
F14 Jet: Skyjack v. Nightflight
Why we were fooled: Honestly, I don’t know. Skyjack, the Go-Bot here, has it all. A decent name, one of the best tiny transformation sequences I’ve seen, and a great vehicle mode. Too bad the poor Transformer can’t keep up.
Ambulance: Rest-Q vs. Ratchet
Why we were fooled: This one’s easy. In the cartoon, Ratchet was a caring, yet slightly gruff doctor that could hold his own in a fight. He was brave, yet sincere, and knew how to lay down the hurt if need be. Compare that with a Go-Bot that only had a handful of lines in his respective series, and its easy to see why we preferred Ratchet. Unfortunately, the deception was so bad that we couldn’t see the horror that was this faceless abomination.
Invaluable thanks to the folks at Seibertron and ToyArchive for the reference images. Couldn’t have done it without them.
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Reader Comments
I agree. I forgot how cheesy some of the Transformers toys actually looked.
“Rest-Q”? Really!?
Gobots were alright I guess. Now the ones that were robot cats then can morph into one big robot was the bomb. I loved thar show. But, dang I can’t remember the name of it off the top of my head.
Don’t let Derrick Wyatt (TF Animated art director) find out that you dislike Swindle. He loves Swindle. That’s why Swindle showed up in Animated.
And you should give Nightflight some slack. He was just a Micromaster!
Leithaakagrover: Voltron. They were lions.
I was wondering if someone was going to call me on the Micromaster bit! There weren’t any small-size jets to compare to the Go-Bot counterpart! Although, it probably would have been fair to compare them to the awful seeker Decepticon jets — their transformations were awful: basically take everything apart, move four pieces, and put it back together again.
And, yes, Leitha — those lions were Voltron, and my heart silently breaks at your description. : )
for the jeep, hound was more of an accurate comparison, and against micromasters and combiner limbs…seriously you could have put puzzler against menasor or one of the other combiners, everything built into puzzler, no extra parts, sturdy, more articulated etc
As far as the Jeep, Hound was a lot larger than Swindle, which is why I went with the latter. Jeeper Creeper was a pretty tight toy (even if his head didn’t stay up after a week of play).
The idea of comparing gestalt to gestalt is a good one — I should have done that! Puzzler was a well-engineered toy with a horrible, awful, short cartoon appearance.
Didn’t Windcharger also pull back and go on his own. Supa Sweet!
Only on planet Dontiwishatron. To my knowledge, the only early transformers with pull-back action were the Jumpstarters, Topspin and Twin Twist. You could ratchet them back, and they would go for a couple of feet, popping in half and supposedly landing on their feet in one automatic motion.
But it never really worked that way. They would roll and their legs would kick out halfheartedly, leaving them laying on their back, motionless, like me after moving day.
Small Foot… OOHH Hubba hubba!
I am a Transfan, but I have to agree with this. I found a Baron Von Joy and a Psycho on the secondary market recently (lucky finds) and snatched them up instantly. Both are awesome. And I almost missed the Baron because his alt mode looks so much like just a well made die cast Porsche that had I not turned him over I wouldn’t have realized what I really had. Both are MUCH better looking and better constructed than the Transformer cars of like size–just compare the Baron to Jazz to see what I mean.
Gobots were generally much better made, less fragile, and easier to transform than TF.
Two more good comparisons illustrating the superiority of Gobots:
1. Small size Leader 1 VS Air Raid.
2. Super size Leader 1 VS Starscream.
I had Psycho as a kid, and loved the look — I just wish his calves weren’t so emaciated….
To be fair, there were some TF that did kick their Gobot counterparts butts. Compare the alt modes of Shockwave and the original Megatron to the Gobot cap guns, for example. The alt mode of the original Megatron would get you arrested at the airport.
Also compare TF Warpath with GB Tank (no imagination with the name, and to “transform” he just folded up).
I’m glad that Gobots have such a low regard among collectors though. It makes them easier to find on the secondary market and cost less too.
One other thing: First Aid would have been a better TF to compare Res-Q to. They were both about the same size. Ratchet was not a mini.
That’s why the TF counterpart should have kicked the Gobots’ ass. Ratchet was twice the size, and still had a sticker for a face. And his lower body was so contorted he had to hide behind a miniature gun turrret.
The size of the Gobots was always a non-issue to me as a kid. So they were mostly hot wheels size? So what? Some of the most popular TF were that size (Bumblebee, Cliffjumper, etc), and the small Gobots were MUCH better than the TF mini vehicles or throttlebots. As a kid I never hesitated to mix TF and GB when playing.
Oh, one other thing I have to say about your critique of Ratchet: I think he looks screwy too, but there were large size Gobots that were just as bad, if not worse. Stacks, for example, didnt even have a face, just windows for a head. And the Super Gobot tank just had a turret for a head. Not even a face that popped out of the turret like Warpath had.