To baldly go: The best chrome domes in science fiction

Josh
Monday
9:10 pm

I know — will Geek6 get off the hair topics already? Short answer: no. We’ve got at least two more hair posts in the hopper, and who knows where we’ll go after that?

What is it about baldness and sci-fi? Does the gleaming pate somehow represent the lustrous future and promise the world of tomorrow holds? Or are a lot of actors just suffering from male-pattern problems?

Either way, we whittled down a doozy of a list to bring you our Top 10 bald sci-fi heroes. Make sure you let us know what we missed below.

10. Natalie Portman

Evey — “V for Vendetta”

The most hardcore geeks will decry the movie as a watered down version of Alan Moore’s comic series, but even that crowd tends to approve of Natalie Portman’s stubble-coated dome.

9. Laurence Fishburne

Morpheus, The Matrix

In the virtual world that is The Matrix, the normal rules don’t apply. Which makes Laurence Fishburne’s Morpheus that much cooler — the guy could have chosen to live out his fantasy of having flowing Fabio locks, but he chooses to go shiny.

8. Mitch Pileggi

Walter Skinner, “The X-Files”

Funny story: Pileggi auditioned for a handful of roles in the series, but kept getting shut down. This obviously put him in a foul humor, so when he was called back for the third casting call, he didn’t bother to shave the hair on the sides of his head. Rumor has it that the bald top and ear-dressing put him over the top, giving him just the look Chris Carter was hunting for.

7. Persis Khambatta

Lt. Ilia, “Star Trek: The Motion Picture”

Ilia was the first bald woman most of us had ever seen, forever giving an alien glow to the thought of mane-less womenfolk. Her role in “Star Trek” was short-lived, but critical to the storyline of the franchise’s first trip to the big screen.

6. Yul Brynner

The Gunslinger, “Westworld”

Trust us, it's bald under there.

The classically-trained Brynner turned his talents to creepiness to play the malfunctioning “Gunslinger” in “Westworld.” There was a time when he sported hair, but after his notable turn in “The King and I,” the bald look became something of a trademark.

5. Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth

“Futurama”

At more than 160 years old, Professor Farnsworth’s liver-spotted dome is one of the oldest currently alive on Matt Groening’s earth.

4. Avery Brooks

Cmdr. Benjamin Sisko, “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”

Star Trek’s first truly badass commander, Sisko wasn’t afraid to bend the rules if it helped the good guys. And to prove that point, the character went bald and sported a goatee for the second season of the series — quite a feat for someone not in the mirror universe.

3. Vin Diesel

Riddick, “Pitch Black”

Vin Diesel, a one-time self-avowed geek and D&D nerd, famously changed his name and appearance due to a distinct distaste for wedgies. Now that he’s bald, you rarely ever see him with hair, realizing that a visibly receding hairline adds a penalty of -2d6 to any charisma roll.

2. Christopher Judge

Teal’C “Stargate: SG-1″

Christopher Judge gamely shaved it down to the skin on the first day of filming for every season. After years of pleading, the character was finally allowed to grow back his hair in Season 8 after an unprecedented, well, 7 years of filming. (We’re not counting the bizarre blonde chin caterpillar he sported for a few episodes.)

1. Sigourney Weaver

Ripley, “Alien 3″

To combat the most brutal of parasitic life forms, former Lt. Ellen Ripley shaved her head to evade detection and infestation. I’m of course speaking of head lice — what were you thinking about?

0. Jean Luc Picard

Patrick Stewart, “Star Trek: The Next Generation”

What — you seriously didn’t think we were going to leave out Picard, did you? Why is he Number Zero? Because his baldness is too cool for a mere No. 1 — this man is patient zero for making bald cool again. There hadn’t been a successful bald TV character (outside of the NBA) since Kojak. Stewart’s follicly challenged appearance brought back bald, and for that, we love you, baby.

Honorable mentions: Yoda, Robert Picardo from “Voyager,” Samantha Morton, the psychic from “Minority Report,” Aaron Douglas from “Battlestar Galactica,” Samuel L. Jackson in “Attack of the Clones,” Bruce Willis in “The Fifth Element,” Britney Spears, Don Davis in ”Stargate: SG-1.”

Mea Culpas: A few that I should have caught: Professor Xavier (but I think Patrick Stewart covers a good bit of that), and Zhaan from Farscape.

Now — what did we miss?