The Shadow Chronicles: Has Robotech gotten worse, or have I grown up?

Sorry, Robotech. I tried. It’s not you — it’s me. I’ve changed, while you’ve stayed the same.

I was your number one fan. I fell in love with you as a child. The colorful allure of your serialized novels on the shelf at Meijer’s. Later, my astonishment at knowing there was a real-live cartoon and even an official newsletter.

It all felt like it was part of something so “big.”

And, as I moved into junior high, you supplied me with artist-grade paintings in classily bound books. And you were my first commercially-purchased role playing game, of which the well-worn pages saw me through junior high, and even many late nights with friends at college.

I devoured your follow-up original novels, eager to know what had happened to my favorite characters in their absence from media.

I know all of the trivia from Robotech across its various incarnations. I know how much damage a Gallant H-90 MWS does in rifle mode (4d6 per burst), I know the most minor characters’ back story (Sue Graham was a journalist embedded with the ill-fated Jupiter Division). I’ve seen both the American versions of the series, and the minor Japanese ditties that spawned them (yes, including the violence and nudity that didn’t make it over the Pacific).

When nobody else would buy your crappy ExoSquad themed line of remolds, I fished them out of bargain bins and brought them home, lovingly painting them to match series-specific colors.

I’ve been an admirer. A fan. A stalker.

I’ve lusted after your high-grade collectables, and would still give a finger for them today.

I grew up with you, but you’ve let me down.

You see, I recently watched the only real original Robotech drama to come out in 20 years. ”The Shadow Chronicles” is now on Hulu. You’ve kept some of the same characters, and added a few new ones.

Unfortunately, you’ve kept all of the old campiness and produced-on-a-dime nature of the plot with none of the innovation 20 years of growth should bring.

Where do I begin?

The Shadow Chronicles’ animation:

It’s not that the hand-drawn stuff is horrible. It’s not Macross Plus-style art, but it’s certainly serviceable. No, the big sin is in doing the increasingly popular trend of combining drawn animation with CGI.

It’s been used effectively (even in other Macross series). But using poor quality CGI to do all of the mecha in Robotech was a bad idea. I mean, this stuff is low-polygon, but it’s also ATROCIOUSLY animated. Good anime robots should feel vibrant and nimble. This 1995-grade stuff is embarrassing, and consistently pulls you out of the scene and looks completely divorced from the characters.

And, while we’re on the subject of the characters, Robotech, you think that after 20 years you’d have figured out how to draw hair on a black man. It’s not that hard. And I know anime doesn’t have to mirror reality, but can we get an even reasonably sized set of shoulders or neck on this man?

The voice work:

The original Robotech cartoon series had memorably horrible voice acting. Over time, fans learned to cut the series some slack, as it was heavily edited, and the actors at the time were encouraged to match the same number of syllables, since kids wouldn’t understand more loosely translated material.

But fast forward 20 years, and Harmony Gold elected to use many of the same voice actors, and the result is just terrible. Choppy, wooden, and an outright parody of 1980s anime.

The story:

Ever since the choppy events of the 85-episode Robotech series ended, us fans wondered what happened to the original first generation of characters. Their tales were told in official books that have since been “decanonized,” but there was yet to be an “authentic” visual experience.

This tale should have been everything we wanted — a hunt for the missing Rick Hunter and the Super-Dimensional Fortress III. A trek into unknown territory, a mysterious friend-turned-foe, a dream team mix of old and new characters with the latest in military hardware….

But it just falls flat. As a fan, I appreciated all of the nods and service that was given to the old series, but so much of the plot was rehashed material from the now-decanonized books that I have a hard time it’d be even remotely accessible or interesting to the non-fan.

And that is the crux of it, Robotech. This OVA was a feature-length collection of mediocre fanservice. Except its poor production values didn’t live up to even casual fans’ expectations. I still love you, Robotech, but perhaps it’s time I moved on.

I hear your older sibling Macross has got some moves. Can you hook me up with her number?