Coming out of the geek closet to my daughter

Josh
Monday
2:11 pm

Ever since my daughter was born, there’s been a talk I’ve dreaded having.

The “birds & the bees,” you ask? Psh. Not a problem in today’s modern life — besides, I’m still a few years away from that talk. I have a deeper, tougher conversation that, up until recently, I’ve been nervous about for seven years:

Daddy plays role playing games.

You see, when I was growing up, my family was very loving, but anything dealing with the craft of imagination, science fiction or stereotypically nerdy past-times was met with silence or misunderstanding at best.

When we moved to another town, I all but buried my geekly desires deep within myself in an effort to better fit in. My friends had no idea I had a stack of Robotech RPG books in my closet, or that I read William Gibson, or recorded all of Space: Above and Beyond on VHS. I embraced music, later spending time in casual cover bands, and doing remarkably stupid and life-endangering things, just like all the other kids in rural mid-America.

As I took my first jobs, I was careful to keep my workspace free of nerdiness, lest other people find out that I hand-painted mecha models or played endless hours of Starcraft until 6 a.m. I found other common ground to commune with coworkers over, and blended in quite well.

When my daughter was an infant, I figured that I’d have somehow outgrown the übergeek scene by the time I had to have The Talk with her. That a magic force would kick in before 30, and I’d all of a sudden figure out why people enjoy March Madness betting pools, golf and hunting.

But, in fact, the opposite happened. For most of my life, I’d concealed my geeky passions, but I really started to embrace them a few years ago.

And now, just after my daughter’s seventh birthday, I’m going to have to explain to her what I do every other Monday night (besides “play games with my friends”). The reason for my reluctant explanation is due to the fact that our RPG group is going to start playing at our house.

I’m hoping that she’ll find it fascinating — and is young enough to appreciate the qualities of grown-ups playing make believe without the later, adolescent stigma that can be dragged in with it. I think that she’s at that age where she can comprehend everything, and still find the realm of fantasy captivating.

But, even beyond that, I’m hoping that I’ve passed along that unique combination of genetic markers and parenting to help her not only understand it, but want to play or run her own games someday. I’ll be proud of her no matter what she becomes in life… but, well, she earns a 1UP if she becomes a geek girl.