This phone could eat your phone

A phone that runs Windows XP — the often-rumored holy grail of device-hungry tinkerers. But as the covers are starting to be peeled back from ViewSonic’s newest XP smartphone, the excitement wilts as reality sets in.

Take a look at this tubby piece of work: The result of an unholy union between a netbook and a slider phone, Viewsonic’s smartphone redefines bulky, making it too big to be a pocket-sized phone and too small to be a netbook.

The industrial-looking closed design features a myopic screen that’d make my digital watch feel more than a little cocky, and fingernail-bending narrow buttons.

But things look a little better once you crack it open. The bulky size gives the VCP08 a fairly large keyboard (for a smartphone). And there, on the 4.3-inch screen, is Windows XP in all its glory. The machine has 8GB of flash RAM to store programs on, and includes support for MicroSD — it also boasts an 800MHz processor, which makes it at least fairly powerful breed of ugly.

At this point, you might think I’m being too hard on it. I mean, you can run all your Windows stuff on here, right? That includes playing games, watching movies, IMing friends and editing your registry to remove spyware.

Before you judge me (and I can feel you judging), know that the VCP08 comes with a 1200mAh battery, meaning that, once XP is fired up, it’s going to be a serious drain. Trying to play something like Quake 3 on that device — or watch a movie — is going to be a serious disappointment.

That means that you have a choice: Leave the VCP08 closed and wedged insanely uncomfortably in your pocket, or plug it into the wall, and set it on your lap, like the world’s most underdelivering netbook.