Why Disney Hates Smart People: Exhibit A — Winnie The Pooh

Josh
Tuesday
2:21 pm

Editor’s Note: Let’s get one thing out of the way: I’m not one of those “Winnie the Pooh” people. I’ve never read “The Tao of Pooh,” I’ve never owned a Piglet sweatshirt or sweatpants with Eeyore’s name emblazoned across the ass in rhinestones. But, as the dad of two kids, I’ve certainly watched a lot of it. And I seem to be the only one who’s noticed Disney’s dastardly plot to eradicate intellect from the Hundred Acre Wood.

Disney has killed off Owl.

Apparently, I’m the only one who’s noticed this. For the past 6 years, I’ve been subjected to every Winnie The Pooh movie (and resulting TV series). I’ve watched the 40-year shift from classic cartoon to corporate, kid-friendly revenue generator in a compressed time span, and stared at every frame of every film more often than I care to think about.

And Owl was quietly shuffled off in 2003. No reason for his departure, no explanation for his migration to another forest… just the stepping aside of one of the only intelligent characters in the Hundred Acre Wood, most likely to make way for critters deemed to be “more relatable” and “consumer friendly.”

In doing so, the resulting portmanteau of characters removed a positive influence to up-and-coming geeks: That if you’re smart, and good, people will look up to you.

A little background

In Disney’s iteration of Winnie the Pooh, all of the creatures of the Hundred Acre Wood represented pieces of ourselves. The lazy-but-well-meaning protagonist Pooh, the vivacious Tigger, the nervous Piglet, practical Rabbit, sullen Eeyore, motherly Kanga, inquisitive Roo, and intellectual Owl are all facets of our humanity.

The Winnie The Pooh theme even listed all of the characters, singing their names in a sleepy, lilting voice. “A donkey named Eeyore is his friend / and Kanga, and little Roo / there’s Rabbit, and Piglet, and there’s Owl / but most of all Winnie the Pooh.”

Evidently, Owl was one of the only denizens of the Hundred Acre Wood who could read, and enjoyed flaunting his worldly knowledge whenever given the opportunity. He was the character the other critters turned to when they needed something explained, or needed to make sense of a mysterious part of their world.

What happened?

"My vengeance will be swift. Hoo, indeed."

Owl’s last appearance was seven years ago — as a cursory, minor role in “Piglet’s Big Movie,” no less.

This created problems with that little ditty of a theme song, which lazily faded out before they got to the mention of Owl. But this wasn’t the worst offense.

Owl was silenced to make way for newer, more “child-friendly” characters like Lumpy, a chipper Heffalump (a species feared in the Hundred Acre Wood) and Darby, evidently Christopher Robin’s replacement.

But the worst offense was yet to come. See, the Pooh characters still needed a voice of reason and intellect to satisfy their curiosity, so Disney pretty much retconned a bigger brain into Rabbit.

The character who was known for practicality and neuroses became the character that’s also smart. And why not, Disney executives? After all, he’s annoying, and can be prone to lectures, so why not just make him smart?

I’ll tell you why: Because Rabbit is supposed to represent the particular side of our being, and tying intellect to nattiness so you can introduce more vivaciousness … well, that’s just screwed up, right there.

Rest in peace, Owl.