“Go to hell real life, I’ll punch you in the face.”  This is why I’m getting an xbox live account.  Game on is right.

Marian Call’s Utah BBQ Performance

July 2, 6-9ish p.m.

Sandy, Utah

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Don’t know what a Marian Call is? Join us for a special weekend performance and find out why she likens her sound to “the love child of Joni Mitchell/Jason Mraz who was raised by TMBG and wolves.”

At the time of this post, Marian is just days away from launching her “49 to 50 tour,” where the Alaskan and self-professed geek will kick off her performance in the 49th state. After that, she’ll be wowing crowds in each and every corner of the union, culminating with a smash gig in Hawaii, the 50th state. (Now it all makes sense, doesn’t it?)

She’s going to be passing through Utah on Friday, July 2, and this 0.16666667 of GeekSix is going to be hosting her Utah whistlestop.

And you, fellow Geek6 reader, are invited to be a part of it!

If you’re a Utah resident (and, according to our metrics, approximately 4 percent of you are), come join us for an evening of barbecue grills, mixing with others and after your bellies are sated, musical entertainment.

Her music and Geek Cred

Only a portion of Marian’s songs are directly geek-themed, but throughout each of her tracks winds a wispy trail of hard-core nerdery. She’s a loyal Browncoat, but her music ability transcends fandom — she puts on a concert you can bring your normal friends to, even if they’re the sort who can’t tell an ought-two from an ought-three.

A few great tracks to get you started:

My seal of approval

As if you needed it at this point, right? The first time I heard a handful of Marian’s tracks, I was grinning ear to ear. Her lyrics are sharply intelligent, but not haughty or pretentious, and her songs are universal, heady, nerdy, and almost entirely without repeated chorus, making just one piece seem almost athletic.

If you like this blog, you’re gonna love her style.

What are you waiting for?

If you’re interested in going, or just want more information, fill out the form below, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

Ninjas, zombie cults, Hogwarts, and mullets with headlights.  Total Eclipse of the Heart: Literal Video.

William Shatner and Lin Yu Chun in an amazingly awkward duet.

The six worst current offenders:

6. Frank Caliendo: Monte Carlo

Tres drole

Even if you think his impressions are funny, does Frank really fit in alongside James Bond at the Monaco-themed resort?  The panache of tuxedoed croupiers is the thematic vinegar to a pudgy George W. Bush hamming it up’s oil.

5. Human Nature: Imperial Palace

Australians singing doo wop Mo Town hits in an Oriental pagoda.  It is a great “walks into a bar” setup but I have to imagine this show doesn’t make for heartburn-free digestion of that Moo Goo Gai Pan you had before transitioning to the theater.

4.  Wayne Brady Making %@it up: Venetian

Does Wayne Brady have to cannoli a bitch?  Similar to Caliendo’s out-of-placeness, the Gondoliers singing methodical opera as they leisurely row lovestruck couples under the full moon have to LOVE a spastic comedian making up songs about rainbows and milkshakes.

3.  Donny and Marie: Flamingo

Really, do they fit anywhere?

2.  Thunder From Down Under: Excalibur

In King Arthur’s day, if a bunch of shirtless Aussies ran in and started dancing on the Round Table the gallows would be swaying in ten seconds.  Also, not only does the show clash with the theme, but isn’t this supposed to be the kids resort?  I’d rather see Elmo dressed up in Holy Grail garb, personally.

1.  Carrot Top: Luxor

Pharaoh:  What is that?

Mrs. Pharaoh:  I don’t know.  It looks like a muscular torch with arms.  He appears to be pulling an inflatable fish attached to a notepad out of a chest….Oh I get it! HAHAHA, very clever!

Pharaoh:  Release the flesh-scarabs.

Carolyn Hester became an influential folk musician in the 60’s.  Think “A Mighty Wind” but for realsies.

She’s an awesome lady, and has many a tale to tell.

Like, she even had a roommate who was a Orion slave girl from the Original Trek.

She also raised some awesomely nerdy children, one of which is my BFF Amy.  They asked me to set down a hammered dulcimer track in her latest album  “We Dream Forever” that she produced with her daughters, who both play and sing on the album with her.

Well, her children are nerds.  Both her daughters have worked at the Observatory, as well as half of their friends.  Our get togethers start with a light conversation on fencing theories and end with who can get to wikipedia fastest to prove a point (because we all know that the internet is always right).

So Amy’s mom has been exposed to nerdisms, but we didn’t realize how much until looking at the liner notes for the new album.  At the end of her thanks she wrote “so say we all.”

This amuses me greatly.  She told us she totally didn’t realize where we got it from, she just thought it was a cool thing we’d always say to each other.  hee.

Note – if you are at all curious, the track I play on  is called “There was an English Cowboy.”  It was my first recording and I’m quite pleased in a “oh shucks” kinda way.

Note – Amy wanted me to tell you that this week (right Amy?) is the first time 5 women will be in space at once, a new record, w00t!

And, even more rarely, those entirely new pieces of music rival the original for cohesiveness and flat-out charm. Below are 5 of the best, but there are scores more out there. What did I miss?

“She Don’t Use Jelly” by The Flaming Lips
Covered by Ben Folds

The original “She Don’t Use Jelly” is a simple and nonsensical song about bizarre things people put on their toast, wipe their noses on or clean their homes with. The Flaming Lips gave it a punk-coffee-shop vibe, so, the only logical way to cover it is to produce the hell out of it. Ben Folds took the song and made it a full-on 60s lounge rhumba with musical depth that transcends the simplicity of the original.

Richard Holdman set the standard for intense Christmas light displays in 2007.  So intense that in 2008 his light display was moved from his gated community house to a property owned by his parents.  So, all you GeekSixers that are in Utah for Christmas this year, drive past Mr. Holdman’s display and let us know how it is up close and personal.  For directions and more information, please visit the Holdman Christmas page.

1. Carol of the Bells

2.  Miracle on 34th St.

3. Music Box Dancer

4.  Amazing Grace

Here are a few of the highlights:

The light-hearted:

— Robots gone wild: One entry suggested that soulless villains are really creepy, and something like the Borg or Stargate’s Replicators would be a great fit.
— Tribbles: Two of you suggested these deceptively harmful fuzzies would benefit from the IMAX experience.
— Crossovers: The Ewoks, Darth Vader and even Nathan Fillion as Himself all made the list… curiously enough.
— The Rock Villain from Star Trek V: Given the shoddy effects that DID make this poor, maligned Trek venture, it’s notable that the Rock Monster was cut out from the conclusion of the movie because it was deemed too poor of a construction.

The Trek-tastic:

— Harry Mudd: More than a few of you suggested the infamous Trek swindler is ready to make a comeback.
— Clones and mirror universes: A few entries brought up the always-popular alternate realities and goateed evildoers.
— Q: A few people suggested Q or The Q, for the reason that the Trek fanbase feels slighted that the Q arcs never got fully explained, and there was never a big-screen version of his/their villainy.
— The Klingons: Roughly a third of the entrants elected to go with a safe bet, and the likely direction the Trek sequel (can we call it a sequel) will go. Which brings me to…

The winner:

Props go to Ben Hamill, for a poignant essay with rock-solid reasoning. I’ll reprint a portion of the entry below:

The next Trek movie clearly needs to be about a/the war with the Klingons. The opposition should probably be a VERY Klingon Klingon; someone to establish the way Klingons will be in the new franchise. In the old school way of things, this would be a movie with lots of talking around tables, etc. That can’t be the new way, of course: not enough variable sources for lens flare.

I think, too, you have to be careful on the topic of terrorism. Originally, the Klingons were sort of allegorical for the Soviets. Sort of. In any case, they were a foreign government with a more or less openly hostile attitude towards the main characters’ government. That’s a model the viewers would be very familiar with.

The analog for today, the kind of threat Americans (and Europeans) are all familiar with is (generally considered to be) terrorists. I feel like it’s being over-played, though, so I’d steer very wide of painting the Klingon government as one that harbors Klingon terrorists.

In a similar way, I’d be wary of playing the enemies-within card. If you were trying to tie into people’s sense of betrayal at the government (over the many things that people feel that way about the government over), you could have the UFP making bad decisions or whatever and Kirk see past it and come out good. That’s #fail. That’s the tone taken by late TNG and DS9 to varying levels of success, but it’s very strongly the Old Way to me.

So, finally, my pitch: Pearl Harbor. Have the Klingons attack a Federation Colony seemingly without provocation. Make the attack be officially sanctioned by the Klingon government. The political reasoning can be sort of whatever as long as it makes some sense (the Klingons shouldn’t be seen as insane, I think). Maybe it’s over some matter of offended honor.

Anyway, the villain should be the officer leading the Klingon’s forces in the region where the Enterprise goes to fight. He’s young and promising and a bit of a wild-card. He’s, more or less, a Klingon version of Kirk. This should ensure that they instantly hate each other. It should also offer some opportunity for great enemy banter.

In the end, Kirk should kill him. Maybe brutally. This shouldn’t be a morally clear choice, which JJ is pretty good about. This could set up some later movie villain if the young Klingon was the son of Someone Important or something like that. If the choice to kill him seemed best at the time, but it turns out to be a major diplomatic issue and leads to protracted war, then we’re looking at a wonderful discussion of Kirk’s rashness and inability to listen to authority biting him in the ass pretty hard.

Congratulations, Ben — enjoy your lavishly composed “Art of Star Trek” book!

But for a handful of years, cartoons had their pulses firmly attached to a pop-culture beat, and the theme songs that came out of that stretch of time were fantastic ditties that mirrored the then-exciting Top 40 soundtracks.

We consulted our horrible, Pop-Rock-addled 80s brains to come up with the 6 most rockin’ theme songs from 80s cartoons. It was hard to not just list our favorite cartoons — keep in mind, we’re evaluating title songs only. See anything we left off? Chime in below.

6. Teen Wolf

The show: The cartoon riffed off of several of the important societal and cultural morays hinted at in the 1985 live-action “Teen Wolf….” You know what? Who’re we kidding. The cartoon was pretty much about a kid trying to not let other people see he was going through changes and covered in hair. Once you get over the puberty allusion, that’s pretty much it.

Why the theme song rocked: The first half of the song is pure 80s flanged guitar and sounds straight out of Huey Lewis’ playbook. The slight curveball halfway through adds just a touch (but not much) of a Halloween-style overtone before getting back into the routine.

5. MASK

The show: Ever since we were kids, we opened the doors on our Hot Wheels so that they could fly. MASK went ahead and upped the cool factor by also making exhaust pipes shoot missiles and motorcycle mufflers morph into helicopter rotors.

Why the theme song rocked: Where Teen Wolf went for 80s Americana rock, MASK kicked it a little new age. The synth and vibes are reminiscent of Laura Branigan’s “Gloria,” while the simple structure kicked it 8-bit-style. http://vodpod.com/watch/1372594-laura-branigan-gloria

4. Mighty Orbots

The show: Josh is the only one that really remembers Mighty Orbots, but just enough information exists on the web to corroborate his tale that we’re going to let it slide. The show was about 5 robots and a human handler, and then they went on and saved the world, or universe, or whatever.

Why the theme song rocked: Remember us talking about the previous decade’s trumpets and film scores? Orbots managed to blend both the 70s action-style music and 80s rock all into one. Plus, the end of the theme song throws in a key change, just in case you weren’t already on a Saturday morning excitement high from freebasing your Cookie Crisp.

3. Jem

The show: A little something for the ladies in a lineup otherwise packed with favorites for boys and tomboys, Jem followed the antics of Jem and her band The Holograms as they put up with the hijinks of the Misfits.

Why the theme song rocked: Christy doesn’t think we knows she secretly jams out to this song in leotard and legwarmers in the Geek6 offices, but our walls were thin and we can’t stop Joe from poking holes in them …and, because you knew we were going to go there: It’s truly outrageous.

2. Pole Position

The show: The show was often overlooked because of its tie-in with a comparatively simple racing game, but true to 80s form, the show took the concept of the game and promptly kicked it all to the curb, featuring two futuristic talking race cars and stunt-drivers-turned-federal agents. (For a longer rant on Pole Position, see Josh’s post from earlier in the year.)

Why the theme song rocked: It channeled the Top Gun soundtrack, if in a slightly sissier way. And the lyrics attempted to tell a story, until they lose all coherence about 2/3 of the way through. As best we can tell, the singer just went stream of consciousness and started blathering through his grocery list.

1. Kidd Video

The show: Kidd Video followed the exploits of a 4-member band, when an evil overlord record producer sucks them into a mirror universe powered by music. In this universe, the band members travel from town to town trying to help the residents of the flipside while jamming out to some of the best tunes the decade had to offer.

Why the theme song rocked: It completely encompassed the first half 80s. To us, this song is part Debbie Gibson, part Cyndi Lauper with a dash of Journey thrown in. And, even though we’re only supposed to be analyzing the theme music, we can’t help but be totally in love with everything about this introductory segment, from the Subaru Brat to the new-wave fashions.

Well, what did we miss? Again — keep your picks to sweet theme songs!

But, without question, my favorite part of the concert was the people watching.

I’ve been to plenty of normal symphony concerts in my life (and performed in more than a few). The audience tends to be a predictable mixture of septuagenarians, dotted with the occasional professional 30-something couple. It’s always made me a little sad that average people generally don’t see orchestral music as “accessible.” Many of the regular concertgoers know each other, are season ticket holders, and familiar faces to the concert hall.

The crowd at Play must have put that hall into shock.

Yay for the geeks: It was a nearly precise inversion of the normal crowd. Nearly everyone in the audience looked to be under 30, with the occasional dot of a couple over 50. People came in large groups, sporting ironic t-shirts, hoodies, and bedhead. A fully costumed Mario and Luigi were in attendance, as were a quartet dressed in formal parody, sporting tuxedoes, top hats and feathered frippery.

And personal gadgetry was in full effect. The person in front of me only reluctantly closed his Nintendo DS before the music started. When the crowd was released for intermission, the room brightened as devices were powered up, unlocked and flipped open.

As the conductor talked about the repertoire and named familiar titles like “Kingdom Hearts” and “Castlevania,” the crowd hooted and hollered. This appeared to marginally disgust the professional musicians, who spent most of the evening gamely participating, but not echoing the excitement of the decidedly downmarket crowd.

At the risk of being preachy, I wished I could remind the musicians that yesterday’s classics were much like today’s populist drivel. Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons” concertos were seen as accessible and modern, and not so different from pieces like the “Chrono Trigger” suite the orchestra so dutifully performed.

In all, though, events like this are good things for symphonies. I’d estimate that very few people in that crowd were regular symphonygoers, and for many, this may have been their first experience with live orchestral music.

The one thing missing, some friends and I decided after the concert, was an outreach component. If the symphony were smart, they’d use the opportunity to say, “if you liked this, you’re going to love a Ravel-themed concert we’re doing later this year — it features all of the drama of the ‘Battlefield’ soundtrack, while giving you the depth and emotion of ‘World of Warcraft.’” It seemed like a natural way to bring in types of people that wouldn’t normally be a part of the audience.